i cant say no.

i am not a workaholic. atleast i dont think so. i enjoy a stretch of uselessness as much as the next person. but sometimes work and i have a rolling down the hill relationship. i WANT to stop but i cant because the momentum that has built up is too addictive, too out of my control and it seems simply too overwhelming to pull the brakes.

i know its time i should stop working to find some time out for myself and recap but work keeps coming and i keep saying sure i can do it. i can. and i love it. but still, theres a time to stop.
is it because we set fake limits for ourselves to fool us and we actually know we can manage even more? that the invisible cut off line extends more than we let the world see? or is it that work (when going well) becomes our lifeline, something that gives you a consistent pat on the back and reassurance that you are worth something…that you know something and that feel-goodness is irreplaceable?

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5 thoughts on “i cant say no.

  1. Well u know it works both ways, i’ve become so used to lazing around and just passing my time on the job that now i find myself avoiding work even when there is some to do.

  2. lol @ aman, i know that feeling all to well!

    but on a serious not Jammie, i think you might be doing that because right now your career/job/woprk is the “known” option and environment which is always easier to absorb yourself in, ie. you know about your job and you enjoy the challenge it brings as well as understand your limitations. where as subconsciously as an intelligent being your aware that the new “job” of getting married and being a wife etc (even if you continue to work) is something that your unaware of, ie its your “unknow”, you don’t know how your doing to perform in that job specification, you have little ie about how successful you will be. So to me its seems natural that you are being shy of leaving something that you have in a sense mastered to move close to something that is new.

    I could however be speaking out of my arse, and be completely wrong. :o)

  3. ohmygod. i promise i wasnt thinking that deeply bbcd. hehe. but good pint. maybe it is a subconscious tussle 🙂

  4. LMAO.. whops. (My Masters is in Psychotherapy. I most probably read too much into everything!) *errr carry on* lol

  5. Sometimes, you just tend to get addicted to things and it can be work too. Like the way you have written, “that you know something and that feel-goodness is irreplaceable?”

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