live by example

I am not the dark kind of person- who can report all the misdemeanours happening in the country with a kind go macabre glee that things look bleak. I can only write with a positive ending in my mind. I realized this shortcoming in me when I read back over my blog, and realized that so many doomsday type things that have happened in Pakistan over the last couple of years have still had me sounding like I think a turn for the better is right around the corner. The randoms accuse me of living in my bubble, where nothing has happened to me so I don’t know how bad things are. Perhaps. Thank God. The probable truth is that, even then I will probably take some spin on it that makes me look at it in a more white than black manner. Apologies for the who that I am, you bleak people.

The Swati girl flogging mail that I received immediately sent me in denial. It’s a fake, my mind said. For perseverence sake, one goes on in the normal acts of life- feed the baby, go to the meeting, swicth off the tv etc. And then the uproar started. The rallies which I didnt participate in, the rants on blogs that I couldnt bring myself to contribute to, and the comments I read all made me feel a myriad of emotions of sadness, shame, anger, indignation. Do people sitting abroad, smug in the distance, not realize that we, sitting here are as confused and helpless?  Why should we have to hang our heads in shame as if this is something that we can control just because we are here and they are not? Just because the same day as the video was publicised, if people chose to go out for dinner, not cancel their night out, see a play or celebrate something does nt mean they are insensitive to the plight of the country. It could mean that they choose to go on despite what the demented elements want. Each time we decide to go on despite a setback doesnt mean we are selfish people who dont care about the country- it means we pray that when we move forward and live life as it was meant to be lived, positively, constructively we are setting an example- maybe of bravery, and definitely of resilience. Its part of the survival instinct to live life to its fullest, because only when there is a threat of a bomb attack every fortnight can perhaps the real meaning of “life is short” even begin to seep through.


8 thoughts on “live by example

  1. Hi,

    I want to highlight the resilience of people of Pakistan in spite of the extenuating circumstances. Is it okay with you if I use some of your thoughts from this post in my article- How people of Pakistan keep going?


    just reminded me of our last exchange on fb.
    pasting it here:
    jammie:was just reading anon on your blog- you know what i dont get?? why do these people sitting abroad think that we are single handedly resposnsible for what is happening here? I mean do they think we rub shoulders with the terrorists? why do they assume that we arent as scared? Why do they think that living here means we can walk right upto the terrorst and say well can you please stop bombing, im sick of it? Why do they assume that because they are far away they cant do anything and because we are here we are in the midst of it but instead of defusing the bomb or something, we would rather watch gossip girl? How black or white is this retarded perspection and that too one that they have come upion reading a blog? like SERRIOUSLY??You will base the entire middle class of pakistan by like 4 blogs? Hoow? And who are you, you pointless people living abroad who are neither here nor there??

    khizzy:well i attempted to say all that but when im angry i become this blabbering mess and say SO much. then i figure there are other people who will do it better than me.
    what pisses me off is not the insinuation that we are responsible…it is the expectation from us to live our days and nights with our heads lowered in shame. to hide away, to be depressed, to close the curtains and turn off the lights and subject ourselves to a depressing punishment.
    heaven forbid we should go about our lives and try to move on. its not denial, i want to tell the moron…its a show of resilience in the face of a gazillion factors trying to tear down our spirits.
    i get worked up. but i still published it, because i wanted ppl to take him/her down.

    Thank you for saying all this!!!!

  3. oh no…this whole blogging, fb-ing, watching poor girls getting beat-up takes on a voyeuristic life of its own, haina? i didn’t even watch the video b/c of my intense aversion to violence. However, i don’t see how you can hold anyone responsible, especially since the govt itself can’t seem to control the monster in Swat. All we wanted to do after 9/11 was find escapism in EVERYTHING…which explains why the Spider-man movie ever got popular in the first place! 🙂
    (…drats, i was hoping for a twilight post!)

  4. I live abroad but I get upset when people sitting outside of Pakistan complain and criticize Pakistan (my pet peeve). Either do something or shutup is what I would say. I think non-resident Pakistanis (not all though) are still conflicted over their belonging issues and they use this as a coping mechanism (they try to feel better about themselves by ridiculing others). They miss home but don’t want to admit it, deep down they envy you all, they travel miles and miles to hang out on desi streets in their neighborhoods, eat desi food and pay an arm and a leg to watch desi tv channels. If they were at peace with themselves than they wouldn’t need to constantly justify their decisions by ridiculing the people who are still in Pakistan.

    I consider Pakistanis to be the most courageous and strong willed group of individuals. I pride myself in my Pakistani upbringing which has taught me to survive under ANY circumstances. I wish I could avoid raising kids abroad seriously. I actually give my white husband a lot of crap for being a pansy, for not knowing how to survive in the real world. Whenever we are in a challenging situation, I always tell him that I am a Pakistani and I will survive through anything because that’s just how we are built (with a undiminishing fighter spirit). Nothing gets us down for long.

    Please don’t let anyone let you down either. You all have way stronger spirits than any average probably fighting the depression of being away everyday.

  5. I loved this post. I agree with you completely. I am an Indian living abroad and I get the exact reverse backlash. For example, when 26/11 happened several indian bloggers in india where talking about how the indians living in the US were so insensitive that they were celebrating thanksgiving when a city was taken siege. Seriously!

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